You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!!

Bouncing back from a few days off from work and blogging, I wanted to wish all readers a very merry holiday!! I hope you all eat too much, drink too much, get too much and try just a little bit to celebrate the true meaning of the holiday. Much love and joy to you all!!!! Merry Christmas.
Paige

Somebody Somewhere Was Bored And I Love Them For It

Found on TMZ, these pictures just crack me up. Someone had a lot of fun with photoshop and really did a number on a few celebrities and turned them into your average unattractive, overweight person from the Midwest. These are my favorites. Can you tell who they are?

I *Heart* Azuma

My husband introduced me to my love of sushi and my friends introduced me to my favorite sushi restaurant in Houston, Azuma. I literally crave Azuma the way some people crave chocolate or McDonald's french fries. The Crazy Irish Man roll is heavenly and I can eat my own plate of it, as can my husband since he is now a converted fan of Azuma. Throw some Red Devil rolls, edamame and a hot green tea in the mix and you might have one of my favorite meals of all time. But I pass on the soy sauce, even the low sodium tastes like pure salt to me. I dig the ponzu sauce and have them make it a little spicy. It is fantastic! I actually think I might be going there tonight! The location we fancy is the Rice Village shop, but there is one downtown if you want to eat before going to the theatre or something. They also have another location (by a different name which escapes me at this very moment) on the Washington Corridor. Happy eating!

I Have A Wee, Wii Injury

So, my husband and I are the proud new owners of a Wii (via my stepson's early Christmas present but ya know, po-tay-to, pa-tah-to). We set it up on Sunday night and started to get a feel for it with the game that comes with the console, Wii Sports, and I got news for you. I dominate. I kicked butt on Wii Tennis and Wii Boxing and as a result I have some major ouchie elbow action going on. I cannot straighten my right arm without shedding a few tears. I may have to get a brace. Wouldn't that just be the pinnacle of all things loserish? My husband did beat me at Wii Bowling, but I was already tired and injured from knocking his little man out in the first round in Boxing. Seriously, the Wii kicks ass and I cannot wait to hook up our Guitar Hero III and jam a little Beastie Boys Sabatoge.

Song Of The Day

I came across today's song on an episode of Nip/Tuck, a show I never watch. But I am glad I did that random night because I found this song that I love. The song is Brighter Discontent on the album Declare A New State by The Submarines, a California indie/folk band. This song tells the story of a girl who is now out of a relationship and on her own, just like she thought she wanted, but now realizes that the grass wasn't greener on the other side and is lonely and misses her relationship. Kinda sad and sweet at the same time and a great song to listen to on a blue day. Find it on iTunes.

I *Heart* Jimmy Fallon

Do you see what I mean? Check out that hip action!

Swoon Of The Day

There was a time in college that I was deeply, madly and passionately in love with Jimmy Fallon. I wanted to marry him. I even had framed pictures of him in my room at my sorority house. I realize in sharing that last sentence that I have probably lost major cool points with whoever is reading this blog but it is true. I wish he would go back to the dying, flopping fish that is SNL. Check out the video above. This is my defining Jimmy moment.

It's Business Time

Here is that song by Flight of The Conchords that I *Heart* so much!! Enjoy!

Japanese Binocular Soccer

I guess J Crew is the official uniform sponsor of the Dumbass Olympics.

Song Of The Day

Sara Bareilles was a random discovery for me. She opened for Paolo Nutini when I went to see him back in October. She was fantastic. Love Song was my favorite of the songs she played that night and on her album, Little Voice. It was upbeat and catchy and fun and a little sassy. It would be a great song to wake up to in the morning or it would be the perfect song to play in the opening credits of some adorable romantic comedy. Check her out! She is blowing up!

Swoon Of The Day

I really don't care that this guy has an actual name (Jason Lewis) because he will forever be Smith, The Absolute Hunk, from SATC. I can't wait for this movie you guys!

Is He Trying To Be Discovered?

Ok- here is quite possibly one of the funniest videos I have ever seen on You Tube and it took place here in my very own hometown! Now, I have never actually met anyone who has attended a WNBA Comets game but from the looks of this video they prove to be more a little more exciting than one would think. I can't believe this video does not end with this guy being carted off by security. There are children there for God's sake!

I Can't Wait To See This!

Rain Wilson is flippin' hilarious!

I Learned How To Post Videos!!

So naturally my inagural video post should be one of the best clips from one of the best movies ever, Spaceballs. I *Heart* this movie.

Steal Of The Week

Luxury shoe brand Hollywould has brought their fabulousness to a Tarjay near you. You will look holiday perfect and oh-so-cute twirling under the mistle toe in these adorable red satin pumps for only $29.99! They will dress up any and every LBD from now till Valentine's Day! And at a price that small you can afford the matching red clutch at only $19.99!

These also make great gifts for the thrifty fahionista on your holiday shopping list. Happy hunting, ladies!

www.target.com
Hollywould Red Peep Toe Pumps
Hollywould Mansfield Red Satin Clutch

My Ears Are Bleeding

If you have a death wish, head on over to Perez Hilton and listen to a leaked song by Heidi Montag. It is pretty brutal but worth a listen just so we can trash talk it. What do you think of Heidi's voice?

Song Of The Day

Australian band, The Beautiful Girls, is a band actually made up of three average looking guys, but they can sing and play instruments so that automatically makes them about 40% more attractive, right? Their most recent album, Ziggurats, contains the hit song Thought About You and trust me when I tell you it is infectious and you want to play it on repeat about 50 times. I love this song and I am pretty sure when I listen to it at my desk on my headphones I bob my head and have even clapped a few times causing co-workers to question my sanity. You can't help it! The song is fun and catchy and a welcome addition to any playlist. Today's song is for Laura, who is always on the cutting edge of music and introduced me to this rad band and song. Head to iTunes now and take a listen!

Swoon Of The Day

Michael Cera is about as cute as they come. Totally adorable in that unassuming, self-depricating way that makes girls fall in love. He was hysterical as George-Michael Bluth on the short lived but ridiculously funny show, Arrested Development, and he was even funnier in Superbad as shy high school senior Evan. I cannot wait to see him as a nerdy, track running, teenage baby daddy in Juno which seems to have opened everywhere else in America except Houston. Sigh. Today's Swoon is for Megan, who would love the chance to get all Mrs. Robinson with Michael.

Best. Costume. Ever.

Marc Jacobs sure can rock the camel-toe!

Trap It!

As I sit here at work, trying to organize my desk and files for all my 2008 endeavors that are just around the corner, I began to realize how unorganized I was. This got me thinking about organaizational tools of decades past and I got all giggly and went and googled Trapper Keeper and low and behold was sent to www.trapperkeeper.com. Yes, Mead still makes them!!! Can you believe it???? I still remember mine. It had a rainbow on it and maybe a waterfall with a unicorn, can't remember. But it was my pride and joy in 5th grade. It was filled with Lisa Frank folders and pencils and stickers. You remember those right?


So, if you want to get organized for 2008 like me, don't head to The Container Store. Nope, get on www.trapperkeeper.com and Trap It!!

Song Of The Day

Now, I am not a big Brittany Murphy fan. I really think she peaked in Clueless and is kind of a useless Hollywood fixture these days – BUT she does lend her vocals to a rad dance tune by Paul Oakenfold, a record producer and one of the best-known Trance DJs worldwide, called Faster Kill Pussycat. I really love this song and feel energy coursing through my veins when it starts up. It is a staple on my workout mix and can get my ass in gear on the treadmill like no other. If you can get over the fact that Tai sings it then you should get on iTunes and give it a listen.

Song Of The Day

I randomly stumbled on this album by Canadian indie pop band Stars, In Our Bedroom After The War, and fell in love. My favorite song is The Night Starts Here. It has a kind of dreamy, melodic sound to it in both music and vocals. It is a great relaxing, sleepy, soft-with-a-beat song that owns the first song slot on my Chillax Mix on my iPod. Yes, I have a Chillax Mix. Deal with it. You should grab this song off of iTunes and relax over the holidays! I know I will!

It's a Sad Day When...

...it is brought to your attention that Jack Nicholson could wear a bigger bra size than you. Sigh.

Song Of The Day

When Damn it Good Feels Good to be a Gansta by The Geto Boys queued up as my first song on my shuffle mix this morning. It was a sign. Song of the day!!! This song is a jam and I remember my brother playing it on his boom box long before it was resurrected in Office Space when Peter Gibbons, Michael Bolton and that Indian dude went OJ on the fax machine. Besides being a totally bad ass song, The Geto Boys are from H-Town! Rumor had it when I was younger that Bushwick Bill lived in the neighborhood next to mine and we went trick-or-treating at his house. Which explains that dime bag that ended up in my plastic pumpkin one year.

Swoon Of The Day

Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords. I could listen to this Kiwi say the word "impressive" all day long. If you don't know who this is then you must immediatley go to youtube and search for Flight Of the Conchords and watch until you love him too. My favorite song is Business Time. Watch it now.

The Non-Finale Finale

So, the big surprise on last night's finale episode of The Hills, the life-changing news that would shock fans everywhere was....that the season isn't over and we get to go to Paris with LC and Whitney.

THUD!!!!!!!!

Seriously, MTV? Way to go. You guys win for worst non-finale finale ever!

Can we talk about the after show for a sec considering the actual show was a snooooooze? Was it just me or are the hosts so cheeseball that the actual stars of the show can't even feign excitement when talking to them? They are Canadian. That might explain a lot. But seriously it was lame. Audrina had nothing to say except that she does miss Justin Bobby (why?) and Whitney could only say that she was excited about Paris but bummed that Lauren couldn't go and then was excited that she was going and Lauren talked about how dumb she was for passing up Paris the first time and she was happy to go this time and Brody and Frankie were useless on a whole new level. None of this is news. These are basically typical human emotions that everday people without a reality show feel all the time. Nothing earth shattering. Where was the drama? Where was the LC v. Heidi boxing match? Where was Spencer and She-Pratt? The best part of the whole show was the Audrina/JB "In Memoriam" clip of scenes from there relationship put to Boyz II Men's ballad End Of The Road. Pure awesomeness.

Other awesome stuff? It appears that Heidi can't afford two dresses for two events. Here she is rocking a dress on the Hills red carpet:


And here she is a few days earlier with Spencer at the Spike TV Awards:


Busted!!!! Wow, that word applies on so many levels when talking about Heidi. Is that the only dress in town that holds up those cataloupes strapped to her chest? She looks like Tori Spelling. And that ain't a compliment.

Here is Audrina doing what she does best:


And here's Lauren for no other reason other than she is in a super cute dress that I am guessing is part of the Lauren Conrad Collection. Whore out those schmattas, girl!!!:


What are your thoughts on the non-finale finale?

I *Heart* Gossip Girl

Pretty people with problems is always a premise for a great show and Gossip Girl is no exception. It is like someone came along and combined The O.C. and Cruel Intentions and made a TV show. The show offers up drama, comedy, fashion, a virtual trip around NYC, hip music, girls you hate to love and love to hate and some of the cutest boys my TV screen has seen in a long time. It also has pretty parents with juicy story lines that rival that of the Cohens on The O.C. If you are not watching this show.....I just don't know if we can be friends. You need to go to www.cwtv.com and watch all the back episodes and catch up so we can dish on the fact that Serena and Dan are so gonna DO IT this week, what a bratastic little thing Jenny has turned into, the fact that Serena's mom and Dan's dad used to do the naked cha cha together and how Blair is now sleeping with both Nate and Chuck who are best friends!!!! Did I mention these characters are about 16 years old?? You will LOVES this show if you give it a chance. Go watch it for free online and come back to "Gossip" about it here on I *Heart* You!!!

For those who are watching: How excited are you about Serena and Dan's story line? I feel all excited like I did when Brenda and Dylan did it on 90210 at homecoming (when Brenda and Kelly wore the same dress) and I was amazed that afterwards Brenda's updo didn't have a hair out of place.

Us Weekly, I *Heart* You

Us Weekly has done it again. They have made my day. No, this is not a picture of Kirsten Dunst rummaging through the produce department of Whole Foods with a caption reading, "Kirsten likes cucumbers! Stars! They're just like us!!!" – which always make me laugh my ass off. No, this is a Hills baby photo album. This picture is my favorite in the bunch. It is my girl, Audrina, and it appears as though crazy facial/body features have been a constant theme in her life from a very young age. Now, I am not one to go around putting down babies (unless they deserve it) but this pic of Baby 'drina is pretty funny. It looks totally photoshopped and fake. What baby crosses their arms like that? Isn't that head WAY too big for that body? Aren't the eyes still crazy? Has Audrina had her ears pinned? Seriously, this photo has made my day and I can't wait to see what Lauren, 'drina, Wha-Wha-Whitney and the gang have in store for us tonight on the season finale of The Hills.

ps- I have the 2 hour "Lauren Looks Back" special marinating on my DVR. Anyone else watch it yet?

Sexy Wine

This past Saturday night my girlfriends and I had a mini dinner party. KJ cooked amazing Cuban fare, Megan and I brought the dessert and Laura showed up with a little bottle of heaven. A fantastically awesome and cheap red wine called Menage A Trois. Yes, the name has an unforgettable ring to it which will help you as you peruse the wine aisle at your local grocery or liquor store looking for it. We nicknamed it the Sexy Wine for obvious reasons. After a little online research, I have learned that it is:

"...a Zinfandel, Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon combo with each variety fermented separately, then blended together prior to bottling. On top there's Zinfandel, a saucy tease that brings blackberry and raspberry jam to the relationship. Merlot, with its generous mouth feel and red fruits, fits perfectly in the middle. The rich flavors and firm tannins of Cabernet Sauvignon make it the ideal candidate for the bottom layer of the trio. The 2006 Ménage à Trois Red exposes the fresh, ripe, jam like fruit that is the calling card of California wine. Forward, silky and soft, this delicious dalliance makes the perfect accompaniment for grilled meats or chicken."

Saucy Tease...that was my nickname in high school.

Please Be Under My Xmas Tree!!

How cute are these slippers? They make me long for an actual cold "wintery" Christmas that will most likely evade the greater Houston area. I can just see myself strutting around in them with some cute matching waffley long johns and sitting in front of a fireplace with a cup of peppermint hot chocolate. My Christmas will most likey be filled with humidity, ceiling fans on at full blast and nary a cup of hot anything in sight. Sigh, but a girl can dream.

Just in case Santa reads this:
www.jcrew.com
Shearling Mocs in Wild Berry, Size 5

Song Of The Day

Paolo Nutini is a crazy cute Italian/Scottish singer songwriter with an a kick ass album, These Streets. I did not make it to ACL this year, where I heard he dominated, but I did drag my friend KJ to see him in Houston at Warehouse Live. He was pretty phenomenal considering he was completely sh*tfaced. I'm not sure if he opened his eyes once through out the entire set but he sounded just as fantastic live as he does on the CD. KJ even became an instant fan! One of my favorite songs on the album is "Jenny Don't be Hasty." It is about a young guy in love with an older woman who kind of dismisses him as a real potential love interest because he is only 18. It has a a great uplifting beat and is a fun listen at work, the car or on a dinner/cocktail party playlist. Gift yourself with this fantastic song (if not the whole CD) this holiday!

Can You Tell I *Heart* The Hills?

Lauren "LC" Conrad has revealed to People magazine that the finale episode of the show will unfold a "life changing" decision LC has made and is "very, very happy with."

Let's speculate as to what we think this life altering experience was. Dinner at Don Antonios?

Gettin' Jim(my) With It

Will Smith makes an AWESOME "Jim Halpert Face."

But I still *heart* the original the most!!

Swoon Of The Day

Penn Badgley aka Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl. Boy, will teen girls everywhere be dissapointed when they realize that teen guys like Dan do not exist in real life. Save up for therapy now ladies. Or just kill two birds with one stone and major in it in college.

Song Of The Day

I Miss You- blink-182
For Brandon

I *Heart* Carrie Bradshaw

Go here and view the Sex And The City movie teaser!!!
http://movies.aol.com/movie/sex-and-the-city-2008/30247/video/trailer-no-1/2033774

I got a fever....and the only prescription is more Carrie!!!

Bag Ladies

Have you ever just one day decided to sift through your purse to see just what the f*ck is in there that makes it so darn heavy? I had this epiphany the other day and lo and behold I found the culprit of my purse weight gain. What was it you ask? Soup. A can of freakin' soup. Progresso Hearty Chicken & Rotini to be exact. I had lugged this thing around in my purse for 4 days and not remembered or noticed it was in there. I just assumed I was turning into my mother who has carried around a purse that manages to look normal on the outside yet turns into Mary Poppin's endlessly deep carpet bag on the inside for years. Other random things in my purse? A lemon and a pack of oatmeal. Apparently I don't need a bigger purse but perhaps a lunch box.
I took a picture of my purse & its contents and asked my friend to do the same. The verdict is in.
1. I am not alone in the "weird sh*t is in my purse" club.
2. We chicks carry way too much crap around with us on a daily basis.
3. If my friends and I were to be stranded on a deserted island, we could survive for years based on the collective contents of our purses.

Me:

Purse- Tory Burch
Wallet- Ralph Lauren
Date book- Container Store
Robot note book- Freebie from paper company!
Camera- Cannon
Cell phone- Motorola Krazr
Sunglasses- Ray Bans
Lemon- Generic
Soup- Progresso
iPod
Business Card case
Orange Flavored tea bag- Tazo
Apple & Cinnamon Oatmeal- McCann's
Make Up bag containing Bobbi Brown lip gloss, hand sanitizer, nail file, Midol, eye drops & Excedrin Migraine
Keys
Pen- W Hotel NYC
Sharpie- compliments of my workplace

Sarah W:

Bag - Gucci
Wallet - Fossil
Camera case - Vera Bradley
Checkbook - WaMu
Chip clip - CVS
Spoon (didn't even know that was in there) - Reed & Barton
Weekly Planner - Target
Gum - Orbit
Kleenex - Swankie
Crayons (oh motherhood) - Joe's Crab Shack
Warner Bros. premiere pass (work perk) - I Am Legend
Makeup bag - tons of misc., some MAC, mostly CVS!
Business card tin - AOL
Contact Case - ReNu
Hand lotion - Bath and Body Works
Mini hairbrush - Conair
Pashmina (yes the bag is huge) - parents brought back from Venice
Cellphone - Motorola Razr
Wine cork - from Thai BYOB dinner last night

Megan:

Purse - Target
Hair Powder - Bumble and Bumble
Pink Compact Mirror - Sephora
11 lip glosses/lip sticks - Clinique (2 lipsticks, 1 gloss, 1 stain/gloss), Too Faced, MAC, Smashbox, NARS, Carmex (2), Candy Paint (random from Sephora)
Wallet - Target
Sunglasses - Prada
Hair brush - Sephora
Nail File / Nail Buffer - don't know - was a gift
Gum - Trident
Phone - iPhone (took this picture with)

Laura:

Purse – Urban Outfitters (brand unknown)
Wrap – Target
Allergy meds – Walgreens brand
Generic advil – Equate (WalMart) brand
Hand lotion – Sally Hansen
Hand lotion - something I took from some hotel
Sunglasses – Forever XXI
Glasses – Nine West
Makeup Bag – WalMart (inside are: Burt’s Bees, MAC lipglass, Revlon lipstick, Stila convertible color, about 10 bobby pins and a ponytail holder_
Keys
Polka dot biz card carrier and mirror – gift
Calculator – Corporate Express
Gum - Orbit
Koozie – MAKOS (former employer)
Convertible wallet/clutch – Nordstrom
Brush – Conair
Missing – tiny umbrella that fell out in Web’s car the other night, but would normally be in here as well.
Also missing – my day planner which stays on my desk during the day…

More to come...

When Closed Captioning Goes Wrong

Song Of The Day

We all recognize this face. Jason Schwartzman is an adorable comedic genius in movies like Rushmore and Slackers and I can't wait for his portrayal of Ringo Starr in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. But, as some might not know, he is a musical talent as well. A member of Phantom Planet, he helped rock The O.C. theme song "California" and now he has new music venture, Coconut Records. His first album, Nighttiming, is pretty good and the stand out track is "West Coast." I loves this song. It is a sad yet sweet song about a bi-coastal relationship. Best Lyric: "I wish you woulda put yourself in my suitcase." How can you just not love that level of preciousness? You all haaaaaaaave to get it. It is on iTunes.

If I Were A Jew...

I would grab a bottle of Kosher wine and rock this bad boy all Hanukkah long!

Swoon Of The Day

Christian Bale is the kind of hotness that should be bottled and sold. This super hot, super humble super hero has been deemed one of the best actors of our generation. I appreciate the fact that he actually has talent and is not merely getting by on said hotness (are you listening, Grenier?). And if he wasn't hot enough just sittin' there looking pretty....the accent. Oh my god, the accent. Double swoon.

I *Heart* Rachel Bilson

Rachel Bilson is a style genius. I think she looks fabulous and fresh every time I see a picture of her. She always looks pulled together, stylish and appropriate whether she is attending a red carpet event or just out running errands. I love that she takes risks, has cultivated her own personal style and is unapologetic about it. She even wore a Chanel dress backwards to an event one time because she thought it looked better!!! I love that! She always carries with her the most important fashion accessory: CONFIDENCE! And because she believes it, I believe it. I *heart* you RBils!!!