Pretty Young Things

I'm off to get my copy of Vanity Fair and see who the next "It" girls are and feel old. How cute is Emma Roberts, second to the right? So cute!

Fanny Pak

No, I don't want a fanny pack, I want THE Fanny Pak to win America's Best Dance Crew on MTV. Check out one of their rehearsals and tell me they are not great. They are so innovative and funky and even pull off the hideous fashion blunder that was the fanny pack. Check them out on ABDC!!

In The Kitchen

"The only thing I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess...and several small fires." – Carrie Bradshaw

I too am a liability in the kitchen – which is why I had to marry a man that cooked. Before Doug, my idea of a successfully executed dinner involved the perfect ratio of Corn Pops to milk. When cooking, I prefer to be alone (so the big reveal at the dinner table holds some authenticity) but there is one gal who I have recently invited into the kitchen for some pointers. Enter Martha, no last name needed. We used to get Everyday Food in the mail but we let the subscription go considering it didn't come with a chef to cook the yummy stuff in the recipes. Now, I am feeling a little bit more secure about culinary exploration and with my trusty sous chef, MStew, via my renewed subscription to Everyday Food, I should be wowing the folks at my dinner table very soon. 

Evolution Of A John Mayer Song

We're having fun! 

Wait. What's happening?

Just wanted to let you know that T-3 seconds until Guitar Face.

Here it comes.

We have lift off. 

The ultimate crescendo. 

Wow, that was intense. 

Goodnight, everyone.

Chain Gang

Today is mandatory clean up day at my office – and it as fun as it sounds. I will be spending the day wielding my dolly driving skills and sorting through a cardboard jungle, deciding what to toss and what to keep so we can toss it out next year. The upside of this disastrous day?

1. It's Friday (woot!)
2. It's half over (double woot!)
3. There are donuts (and they make everything better)

Have a fantastic weekend everyone! Feel free to search my archives for old posts or head over to some new blogs on my blogroll to show some love.

1. Brown Button
2. Regardez Moi
3. Baking With Plath
4. Shark Bait

Maybe It Was The Outfit

Maria Sharapova was ousted in the 2nd round of Wimbeldon. Maybe it was her outfit that broke her concentration. Maybe it was the face of the Russian she was playing:



My guess is both.

My House Is Never Getting Built

Bono's Real Name Is Paul

Does that strip him of his cool factor? Check out some other real celeb names.

Brandon On The Real World

I'm not sure if any of you watch The Real World anymore. I don't. I haven't for years. But last night nothing was on and I decided to see what this season was like. Not 2 minutes of into it, pops up my college friend Brandon. Brandon died this past December after complications with a very aggressive form of cancer. Seeing him again on screen was wonderful. It was as if fate had arranged it so I could say "hi" to my old pal again. Brandon was special. Even on MTV, when most people would take the opportunity to act like big shot, he was as real and kind as he was back in college. It was sad to relive the news of his death in this video, but it was good to see him again – working, inspiring others and laughing while doing it...classic Brandon.

Onesie

For some reason I am totally into one piece bathing suits this year. I find myself ogling the onesies more and more and here are some that I am currently *hearting* oh so much.

Lux Lamour Suit

Marc Jacobs Cut Out Suit

Milly Lipari Print Suit

Kids Today

Can we talk about how the 17 year old summer intern who sits at the next cube has one of these:


and one of these:



Kids today. In high school I carried a nylon purse from Old Navy and had a 10 pound flip phone for emergencies only. Hell, at 28 she still has nicer sh*t than me.

Buh-Bye

Sometimes I will read a news story (okay gossip blog) and think, “Oh my god, if I have to read about or see one more picture of insertnamehere I am going to vomit!!” And then I think about if I had a rocket ship with 5 seats on it and I could put whoever I wanted on it and blast that f*cker into outer space, who would I choose to fill the 5 seats. Today the list reads like this:

1. Miley Cyrus – How annoying can one 15 year old be?
2. Rosie O’Donnell – Rosie always has a seat on this ship.
3. Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag – I know I perpetuate the gossip posting about them and I hate myself for it. They only take one seat because you know Heidi would sit on Spencer’s lap.
4. Rachel Ray – Does this one really need an explanation?
5. Jessica Simpson – Have you ever noticed she has a weird voice she uses when she talks to sound funny or cute? It bugs. Outer space for you!

In the event that any of these 6 people seek refuge and are not able to board my fictitious rocket ship to oblivion, any one of these alternates would be acceptable:

Paris Hilton
Both Madden Brothers
Joe Simpson
Tila Tequila
JLo
The Entire Hogan Family

Who would fill the 5 seats on your rocket ship?

Makin' Whoopie

If you have never had a Whoopie Pie before, my sincerest apologies. You don't know what you are missing. Whoopie Pies are little Heaven Cakes that make my heart swoon. I had my first one at the Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia while visiting friends. The Amish make fantastic, authentic Whoopies Pies. But it is bikini season and no such pie shall touch my lips except maybe this little Whoopie recipe that came via a friend on Weight Watchers. I am going to make them this weekend. 

Ingredients:

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup solid vegetable shortening 

1 egg white

1/2 cup 1% milk

3/4 cup marshmallow spread

Baking Instructions:

Preheat oven to 425ºF. Combine flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt in a small bowl. With an electric mixer on medium speed, beat the sugar, shortening and egg white in a medium bowl until fluffy and well blended (approx. 2 minutes). Stir in flour mixture, then the mlk until blended.

Drop the dough by spoonfuls onto large, ungreased baking sheets (makes 35 cookies). Bake until the top springs back when touched (5-7 minutes). Let cool completely on on a rack. Spoon 2 teaspoons of marshmallow spread on half the cookies and top with the remaining cookies. Enjoy!

I'm sure the Amish would sooner roll over and flip on a light switch then try this low fat bastardized version of their precious pie, but they don't get on the internet so I think I am safe. If you want the real deal, make these bad boys. Or these...ooh they look so good!

Flat Out Gross

After reading this statement I will think twice before slipping my feet into any of the several pairs of flats that I own and love:

"Wearing flats can lead to severe heel pain and blisters, crowding toes and conditions such as hammertoes and bunions." 

Seriously, is there a word grosser than "bunion"? Crowded toes sounds like a fake condition and the word "hammertoes" does something to my gag reflex.

I Dress More Casually For My Office Job

Here is one of the looks from Maria Sharapova's line of tennis gear from Nike. Um, what? She is supposed to go out and play a sport in that get up? She looks like she should be seating people at the breakfast buffet on the Love Boat.

It's Happy Hour Somewhere

My mom called me a little bit ago to tell me she has already bought us a house warming gift for the new house*. The Duncan Bar Cart from Restoration Hardware** should be arriving in a few months (it's on back order) and my mom will be served it's inaugural cocktail when it gets set up. I love it and I can't wait! Thanks Mom! You are without a doubt the best!

*I know pics of the house have not been uploaded in ages and this is due to the fact that our builder enjoys taking his sweet ass time. Plumbing was supposed to start yesterday and the exterior pain has been bought so something of note to share should be coming along sometime soon...I hope. 

**Susannah, again, please don't cut me (or my mom) for doing business with The Place That Sucked Your Soul Like A Cheap Slurpee Through A Straw And Even Used That Spoon Thingie At The End Of The Straw To Scoop Away At The Very Marrow Of Your Being (TPTSYSLACSTASAEUTSTATEOTSTSAATVMOYB for short)

Vanilla

Call me boring, but when we trek up to TCBY for some fro-yo these days I always order a vanilla cone. Sometimes I go ca-razy and get a swirl cone. The best bite is always the last one when some of the yogurt has melted and slide down into the base of the cake cone...yum! I'm having a dreary day and I think a 'nilla cone is just what the doctor ordered. 

Classic Kerr

I am usually so over the top all about accessories and "flair" that I forget how cute a simple and classic outfit like this can look. Miranda Kerr, Victoria's Secret model and lady love du jour of Orlando Bloom, looks breezy and crisp in this black and white get up. Get the look on Popsugar – long legs and movie star boyfriend not included. 

La Di Da, La Di Da

Last night I curled up on the couch and watched Annie Hall. I had never seen it before in its entirety and I really enjoyed it. I laughed a lot and cracked up at a lot of the clothes. Diane Keaton playing tennis in a popped collar was priceless - no wonder she won the Academy Award for this movie. If you're like me and made it to 28 without seeing this classic, rent it soon. It is a good time.

Heidi Montag Is Effing With Us

How else do you explain her new single, Fashion? Seriously, click on the link and listen. It makes Higher sound like Grammy gold.

ps- Is it me or does Heidi have a bit of a Stevie Wonder thing going on in this picture? 

Teeny Tiny

Rachel Bilson looks positively wee in this photo. She is wearing an Herve Leger bandage dress which I have read is the equivalent of wearing Spanx as a dress. Looking at this pic, I am kinda feeling guilty about forgetting my gym bag today.

Lauren & Brody Hock Cell Phones

Coreymania

Last night I watched what was probably the worst/best thing on TV all weekend – two episodes of The Two Coreys. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, 80's teen stars of such fantastic cinematic gems as License to Drive and The Lost Boys, used to be best friends with major drug problems – something that Corey Haim must still be battling with because the guy has a batshit crazy look in his eyes at all times – and are now the best of frenemies. Corey Feldman has since gotten his shit together and appears to be living a pretty decent life. He's married, has a kid, a pretty decent looking house and a manager so I guess he still has a career too (according to his IMBD page he is currently directing and starring in a movie called This Bloke Goes To Hollywood). Haim seems to be the tragic one who can't get it together and resents Feldman for it. The entire two episodes were about how neither one of them wanted to see the other one and they didn't want to be friends anymore so what was the point and they were over it. I guess at some point the producers had to walk over and remind them both they are on a show called The Two Coreys and they better stop acting like little bitches and do what their contracts said they would do. The latest episode ended with Corey and Corey going to relationship counseling together and Haim painting a canvas to represent his sadness. You must watch. It is television gold. 

Thanks For The Laughs, George!

George Carlin died yesterday. He is probably my favorite comedian of all time. I saw him live in Las Vegas in 2001 with my family and I have never seen my dad laugh so hard in my life. He did this bit in the show we saw and I laughed for hours about it. My entire family still quotes, "F*ck Tucker, Tucker sucks" all the time.

Thanks for the memories and laughs, George. You will be missed.

I *Heart* Whoever Wrote This

I enjoy the writing in men's magazines far much more than I do the writing in women's magazines. Luckily, my husband is just as much of a magazine whore as I am and subscribes to the guy trifecta – GQ, Details, Men's Health. I generally have to read a little something to fall asleep...like an old person does...and being too lazy to walk into the other room to get my new InStyle, I reached for GQ and flipped to the back (I read magazines back to front which is weird) and was greeted with this gem of an open letter to Starbucks. I loved it so much that I read parts of it out loud to my husband. Whoever wrote this is my verbal, word wielding hero. I had to share. Enjoy!

Argyle All Over

The style department of Gossip Girl has done this to Chuck Bass. Ed Westwick, who plays slimy yet hilarious Chuck, must be a good sport to even walk out of his trailer with this get up on. The next season is being shot in The Hamptons so I guess this is the way GG does the beach. By the looks of this picture, the character's wardrobes are going to get interesting and I can't wait.

Zooey's Many Dresses

Zooey Deschanel talks about her style and all her dresses with style.com. I love her feminine, retro look. She really stays true to it regardless of trends and it totally suits her.

Bees Knees

That's my hubby on the left. His name is Doug. He is 39. His mind is 18 and his knees are 247. So today, for the second time in 7 months, Doug is having knee surgery. I will be away from the blog – yet again – this afternoon to wait in the uncomfortable surgical center waiting room whilst sitting in a chair made of cactus and reading a Reader's Digest from 2003. Doug is also over a foot and a half taller than me and out weights me by, let's just say a fair amount, so getting him up the stairs when I get home might induce some surgical needs of my own down the line. This most certainly is not the bees knees.

I hope you all have a fun weekend!

High School Reunion

My 10 year high school reunion is tomorrow night. I'm not going. No real reason why.* Just no real interest to pay a lot of money to go hang out with people that I really don't have all that much in common with anymore. I'm sure it would be fun to stand around some sad hotel ballroom and start ever conversation with "Remember the time that....." or "Omigosh, you know what I just remembered?" but I am going to opt out this time around. Don't get me wrong, I was not a loser in high school and I am not too cool to go back, I just don't have the desire to have forced small talk with people that I was never close with and the even more uncomfortable small talk with people that I was close with but am not anymore. I know Noelle from Just Putting It Out There... is going so I can get the low down from her. So tell me, did you go to your high school reunion? If yours is coming up, are you planning on going?

*Ok the real reason why I am not going is because I have yet to perfect my Romy and Michelle "Time After Time" dance sequence that I had prepared for the evening. It isn't ready yet and I either go big or stay home.

Boulder Holder

I have on this bra today from Gap Body and it rocks! I usually swear by VS Ipex bras but I picked up this one to give it a try and I am glad I did. It is so comfortable and on sale for $19.99 right now – a fraction of what VS charges for their bras!

Boom Town

Houston is booming!!!! As my boss said the other day, "It's finally good to be in Houston!" Who wants to move to my little metropolis and be my neighbor? You can scoop up either one of these fab houses in The Heights and live on my street!

Baby Girl Has A Baby Girl

Congrats to the ecstatic looking mother!

Wronged By A Thong

Kudos to Meredith for not flat out laughing her ass off during this interview.

Sienna's Sunnies

I am in LOVE with the sunglasses Sienna Miller is sporting in this picture. If you know who makes them or if you have seen something like them somewhere, please share with me immediately! 

UPDATE: Found them!

UPDATE 2: I just found some knock offs and they are $9.99. Score!!

People's Hottest Bachelors: The Breakdown

Mario Lopez

Ok, Seriously? 

Adam Levine

Cocky, Conceited, Home Wrecker

Andy Samberg & Random

Cute, yes. Hot, the verdict is still out. 

Brett Michaels

Ok, hasn't this guy been trying to not be a bachelor for 2 seasons now? I feel like I am being effed with, People magazine.

Brody Jenner & Frankie Delgado

It is official. There are no hot bachelors. 

James Blake

Tennis player, Bald, Yawn.

Terrance Howard

See Mario Lopez.

Gerard Butler

Finally, some hotness on this list. Accent, check, Hot bod, check...after those two things who cares about the rest? 

Penn Badgely, Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick

Yes, yes and double yes. Where were guys like this when I was in high school? 

Hunter Johannson

If you are wondering "who?" right now, you are not alone. He is ScarJo's twin bro and I am perplexed by his inclusion on the list. 

Bryan Spears

Yep, that Spears. WTF???? See Brody & Frankie.

David Cook

Not a fan, but he seems to be less douchey than 90% of the names on this list. 

Playing Hooky

I'm pulling a Ferris Bueller today and not going into the office. Actually, I won't be anywhere near a computer so there will be no posts today. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so this really is a good thing. You all can have time to miss me. Please take a long hard look at my blog roll and patron these outstanding blogs in my absence. Have fabulous humpdays everyone! See you Thursday!!!

Whoa Baby

Today I had way too much fun at the recommendation of Susannah at Petunia Face. She posted today on a hilarious site you can go to, upload a picture on and then it will show you what you look like as other ethnicities and genders and ages. It was not always pretty and this is the only image of mine I will share with you because it is just too darn funny. Trust me when I say you have to do this immediately. I do want to echo S's sentiments of uploading a non-smiling pic. The site jacks with your teeth. Anyway, according to this site this is what I looked like as a baby and of course I looked nothing like this. My forehead was much, much smaller, I had few to no teeth and I'm pretty sure my bangs weren't that tame. And if I wasn't self conscious of my Jay Leno chin then, I certainly am now.